My journey in rugby: from Clichy to 36 years on the field
My experience in sports, human connections, and life’s various challenges is rooted in a rich emotional journey, surrounded by people from diverse social, cultural, and economic backgrounds. The richness of sports—and social inclusion rugby in particular—is incredible.
My life journey has allowed me to meet people from all over the world, and I consider this diversity to be a true gift.
I am convinced that life experience—both personal and professional—must be linked to an understanding of the various emotions experienced by people from diverse backgrounds and contexts.
I’m talking to you about human diversity by sharing my own life experiences in depth.
I grew up in the Paris suburbs in Clichy-la-Garenne, just a stone’s throw from Porte de Clichy in Paris’s 17th arrondissement. My parents are originally from Cameroon and seized an opportunity to come live in France, where my brothers, my sister, and I were born.
We grew up in a neighborhood of Clichy called Chance Milly, surrounded by a cemetery, the Porte de Clichy, and the Clichy-Levallois train station. Many immigrant families, from the Maghreb, Central Africa, Portugal, and other countries, immigrated to France around the same time. It was a lively neighborhood where we loved to hang out with friends to play and fool around.
Most of us lived in small one-bedroom apartments ranging from 30 to 50 square meters, and most of them didn’t have a shower or a bathroom. We washed ourselves with washcloths at the sink or sometimes at the public pool.
I had more energy to spare than my brothers and sisters. That boundless energy didn’t make life easy for my parents, especially since I lacked discipline.
I started playing rugby at the age of 7 at the suggestion of my third-grade teacher, who, like many others, thought I was a bit of a fidgety kid with too much energy. He asked my parents if I could try out rugby at the Clichy club, where he was a coach. I’m still grateful to him for his dedication to finding solutions.
The values of rugby: commitment, teamwork, respect, discipline
Beyond the practices, games, and shared moments, the real life lesson that rugby taught me was the experience of sharing, meeting people, building connections, and embracing social diversity.
Rugby, with its values of commitment, sharing, respect, acceptance, determination, and discipline, is a true school of life where everyone can find their place.
During my 16 years as a professional rugby player and more than 300 matches played for 9 different clubs, including Stade Français Paris, RC Toulon, US Oyonnax, and Racing 92, I had the opportunity to play alongside global rugby legends such as Jonny Wilkinson, Sonny Bill Williams, and Dan Carter. Today, with over 7 years of experience in mental performance coaching, I share this wealth of experience with the athletes and professionals I coach from Toulon.
Emotional experiences
Hope, that sense of optimism and longing for a positive future. The joy of sharing, the pleasure of winning as a team, the satisfaction of feeling useful. Sometimes anger, frustration, that feeling of irritation, often in response to an obstacle or an injustice. Disappointment, caused by a defeat, a failure, or a betrayal. Which will take a back seat on the day we experience sadness—that feeling of grief and melancholy—created by the loss of a loved one. Fear—that sense of alertness in the face of a threat or danger, the fear of doing wrong that leads to anxiety.
Guilt—the feeling of regret and responsibility for a real or imagined action after making a bad choice. Shame—embarrassment and a sense of humiliation after acting against social norms or group expectations, or after neglecting one’s personal values. Anticipation—excitement or nervousness before a big game or major event, and the pressure of what lies ahead.
Then there’s that urge to rebel—to regain confidence, to find the self-assurance we long for, to give it to someone else, or to restore it.
Empathy: understanding and sharing the emotions of others. Envy: that intense feeling, the desire to have or to become.
Finally, love—that deep feeling of affection and connection toward someone or something.
Sports have this unique temporal dimension—a rapid succession of experiences centered on the various emotions that define what it means to be human.
We live in different social environments, which profoundly shapes our perception of everyday life and human interactions.
The various environments in which a person may find themselves can be stable or unstable.
An unstable environment
This is characterized by frequent unrest, revolutions, or protests. Social inequality, a situation in which significant disparities exist in access to resources. Intercultural tensions, a climate marked by friction or conflict between groups of different cultural backgrounds. Repression, a climate where civil liberties are severely restricted and surveillance and control of the population are pervasive. This also creates economic difficulties that can lead to very low incomes, unemployment, and increased poverty.
And in the worst-case scenarios, for those coming from countries at war, where there are armed conflicts between nations, groups, or communities, accompanied by violence, destruction, and human suffering. Such conditions can lead to uncertainty, fear, and difficulty looking to the future, as well as real physical and mental trauma.
A stable environment
Living in a stable environment where institutions function effectively and without major disruptions, where it is easier to plan for the future with confidence. A peaceful place, a country where tranquility and harmony reign without conflict or violence. Growing up in a prosperous environment provides more opportunities. A place where social equality prevails, where rights, opportunities, and resources are distributed fairly without discrimination.
Each of these social environments can have a significant impact on quality of life, economic prospects, and interpersonal and intercommunity relationships.
Seeking to understand the reasons behind an injury, a behavior, or an attitude helps us understand others and build stronger bonds.
From age 7 to now, at 43—what a treasure trove all these human interactions have been.
Humanity is incredibly diverse, comprising different cultures, ethnicities, languages, beliefs, and life experiences. Coming from different places, the environment in which we grow up profoundly shapes our worldview and the way we interact in daily life.
When you take an interest in someone’s background, it’s easier to identify the factors that will help them achieve a shared goal.
My status as a professional athlete—and especially my journey toward self-acceptance—has allowed me to meet people from different socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.
People vary in terms of physical abilities, and each has unique needs and talents. Working hard, knowing what it means to make sacrifices, showing selflessness, questioning oneself, and fostering unity: these are universal qualities necessary for success.
Recognizing the efforts and sacrifices made fosters lasting relationships, mental strength, and the discipline we impose on ourselves. I am convinced that no collective success is possible without accepting others’ differences and embracing human diversity.
My life experience has taught me the importance of instilling in my children a spirit of acceptance, of understanding others before judging them, and of focusing on their strengths rather than their weaknesses.
A social environment that values and encourages cultural diversity promotes peaceful coexistence and positive interactions.
I wouldn’t trade a single title or trophy for all those moments of connection I’ve shared with each of you. A cup of coffee, a glance, a smile, a handshake, a photo, a practice, a game—all those moments, whether long or very short.
Let’s not limit our knowledge by clinging stubbornly to false beliefs without seeking to discover and understand what it means to be human.
A kiss…