High standards: the key to excellence in sports and in life

Someone asked me, "How do you convey high standards?"

This question immediately takes me back to my childhood, when discipline was largely instilled at home, and my desire to make a living from my passion inevitably led me there. Excellence is something rare and highly sought after. Part of my work in mental performance coaching revolves around that. I’d like to share my experience and my perspective on high standards with you.

Personal discipline is a key factor in achieving excellence in all aspects of life. This quality is developed over time through the repetition of the same actions, which eventually become second nature. Applying this discipline to all daily activities enables one to achieve a rare level of excellence.

The values instilled in childhood: organization, discipline, and rigor

I remember that when I was little, my mom always put everything back in its place. In the fridge, every item had its place and was stored in its own compartment: dairy with dairy, protein with protein, and so on. What struck me was how demanding she was of us in every aspect of life. If you have to do something, do it as well as you possibly can.

From a very young age, my brother, my sister, and I had to tackle household chores with organization and discipline—and, above all, do them properly. Organization meant assigning a specific week to each of us. Discipline meant completing them before planning any other activities, and if the work wasn’t done right, we had to start over. These small tasks taught us much more than just those three qualities: organization, discipline, and thoroughness. We also had rules for homework, screen time, what we were allowed to eat or not, what we were allowed to watch or not, and many values of respect were taught to us. All of this was handled with fairness, combined with moments of sharing, fun, seriousness, relaxation, and lots of love.

Adolescence: When the Environment Detracts from Discipline

Reflecting on my personal growth, I realize that I haven’t maintained that discipline. The people we associate with have a significant impact on our behavior. My external environment—the friends I chose—combined with that desire to belong to a group that is so common during adolescence, may have led me to adopt the prevailing attitude, which was laxity, a lack of rigor, and a lack of discipline. Bad habits are contagious, and over time, they can undermine and affect every other aspect of life. I began to perform less well in various areas, particularly in rugby.

From Stade Français to the 4th division: the turning point in professional rugby

In 2002, I was playing for Stade Français Paris; I was lucky enough to be a professional. The following year, I found myself without a club, dropping from the professional first division to the amateur fourth division. I hadn’t realized how privileged I was—to be a professional at 20 and make a living from my passion. When I realized I was about to let my dream slip away, I rediscovered the discipline my parents had taught me so well. I unconsciously reintroduced that discipline gently and naturally into the various aspects of my life. I worked my way back up year by year, returning to the top division (Top 14) and never leaving it again.

As I write this, I realize that nothing happens by chance. Since then, I have never taken a victory or a success for granted. Some might call it an obsession, but the humility that comes from disappointment is the best lesson of all.

Conveying high standards: a process that requires patience and kindness

Setting high standards is difficult, first and foremost, for the person doing the setting. Saying no, punishing, withholding privileges, asking someone to start over, and so on—these are not pleasant things to do for oneself, let alone for others or the people we love. We must accept that we may become the unpopular one. I understand that it’s hard to accept and understand something you haven’t experienced yourself. It would be so much easier if we had the wisdom to listen and learn from others. Things of quality are often highly prized, and few people manage to obtain them.

Experiencing something makes it much easier to convey it. Feeling the various emotions and sensations that accompany and lead to action. Having the experience doesn’t necessarily mean that the teaching will be effective. Knowing how to do something, knowing how to be, and knowing how to teach are truly three very distinct things. It’s important to remember that teaching high standards is an ongoing process that requires patience, perseverance, and kindness.

Being demanding of oneself means learning from your mistakes, striving to keep improving, and setting achievable goals.
In short, being demanding of oneself is a key factor in achieving excellence, but it’s important to maintain a healthy perspective and not put too much pressure on yourself. By working on yourself and striving to improve every day, you can reach new heights.

High Standards vs. Perfectionism: Finding the Right Balance

It is important not to confuse high standards with perfectionism, which is often counterproductive. Doing one’s best, hard work, diligence, and the discipline one frequently imposes on oneself—all for a single, rare reward.

That thing—which will illuminate a person through everything they radiate—allowing them to taste the fruits of success, recognition, and all that comes with it. The pleasure, the joy, that sense of mattering, of being useful, of being an active participant, of being alive, of being the star in the crowd. A rare and unique sensation that blends countless emotions over a period of time. Isn’t this the exceptional feeling that comes from being rewarded for one’s efforts and sacrifices?

Nothing in life can be taken for granted; treat each new day as a fresh challenge.